Sunday October Fourth, 2020. And let me preface this entry with a few disclosures: I BELIEVE THAT CORONAVIRUS AND COVID-19 ARE REAL; I follow news sources that provide factual information regarding coronavirus and COVID-19; I believe in the ever-changing scientific evidence and data regarding coronavirus and COVID-19; I believe in measures that help mitigate the spread of coronavirus such as but not limited to WEARING A MASK; and I believe that the State of Wisconsin is currently in deep shit regarding COVID-19 infection rates, hospitalizations, and deaths. OK, that said, let’s continue (and if my above listed disclosures make one uncomfortable then I suggest one refrain from reading any further).
Dental education in this time of coronavirus is STUPID HARD!!! Let’s not sugarcoat it. Students, staff, and faculty are all under tremendous EXTRA pressure due to coronavirus. There was a tremendous amount of pressure on all of us BEFORE coronavirus but our pressures have grown exponentially as we struggle with the ever-tightening grip of this forking pandemic (not to mention political and civic/social strife which likely are being fueled by this forking pandemic…maybe more on that a different day). OK, so now where do we go with this conversation in a coherent and logical manner when all my brain can give me is a bunch of jumbled panic thoughts rocketing from one thing to the next?
I am grateful that the dental school is open for business. Patients are receiving care, students are receiving an education, and staff/faculty are able to work and collect a pay check (which in turn allows folks to care for their families which subsequently boosts self esteem and pride). But being open for business DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE BUSINESS AS USUAL! Far from it. And when the only other option for the dental school is to be CLOSED (a path that some dental schools have chosen) then being open, even in a limited capacity, is OK for me.
But what we’re doing is not sustainable. The level of care and education that we’re providing is compromised and cannot continue at this level without further drastic changes. We’re already working in a drastically altered reality but the hope (my hope) has always been that the changes we’ve made are only temporary and that we will revert back to a sense of normal once the pandemic wanes (hopefully it does). So I gather strength from the hoping that our temporary pressures and compromises will abate. In other words, I’d rather take OPEN right now with all the extra pressures AND all the compromises and deal with all their related issues at a later time as we’re able.
Patience is always a virtue. But I cannot stress that EXTRA PATIENCE IN THIS SITUATION, RIGHT NOW, IS A MUST. There are too many unknowns and too many questions that CANNOT be answered. We don’t know when the pandemic will wane. We don’t know when we will be able to revisit that which we knew as normal. We don’t know how long we will have to function in our compromised state. We don’t know how long we will have to live with extra PPE’s. We have no idea how the price of PPE’s will affect our finances. We don’t know if we will continue to be able to procure adequate PPE’s. We don’t know how long folks within our building will remain healthy. We don’t know if we’ll be able to remain open. We don’t know when part-time faculty will feel safe enough to return to teaching (which in turn means we have no idea when we will have enough faculty to boost our clinical activities and patient numbers back to normal). We don’t know when we’ll be able to have a lecture hall filled with students to capacity again. We don’t know when we’ll be able to move away from on-line classes. We don’t know when we’ll be able to end our physical distancing. We don’t know when we will be able to bring an entire class together again in the Sim Lab. We don’t know if D4’s will be able to graduate on time. We don’t know if (or how for that matter) clinical requirements will have to be altered. We don’t know what’s going on with Board Exams. Sensing a theme? And guess what? NO ONE KNOWS AND NO ONE HAS ANY ANSWERS!!! Even our supreme Government doesn’t have any answers!!!
“So what the FORK am I supposed to do?”. Try to take everything moment-by-moment. Maybe even extend that out to one-day-at-a-time. Show up wherever it is you’re supposed to be. Be on time for wherever you’re supposed to be. Be EXTRA PREPARED for whatever it is you’re supposed to do wherever it is you’re supposed to be (time is precious, time is limited). No one can ever fault you for doing your best within each given moment and/or assignment! But be prepared to be flexible in altering whatever plan there may be for that particular moment and/or assignment. And always plan on there being a tomorrow but be prepared for whatever may land when tomorrow arrives.
“What else can I do?”. Be patient with oneself. I will be honest in saying that this pandemic has been REALLY HARD for me on so many levels. I have a distinct lack of joy about…EVERYTHING, and that translates into a tremendous lack of energy and motivation (which has a direct effect on my mental health). The pandemic and its accompanying political and civil/social issues has tainted and painted EVERYTHING in my life. It’s like one of those dementors from Harry Potter is always right nearby. And EVERYTHING becomes a burden! Simple everyday tasks are exhausting but it gets even worse when I have to add in: grocery shopping; going to the gas station; going to the post-office; going to Target; picking up cat food; taking out the trash; vacuuming the house; cooking meals; playing guitar; brushing my cats; mowing the lawn; and I can keep going and going. Some days I am so exhausted and so unmotivated that I’m too tired to even get into bed (the floor becomes more comfortable when you make the decision that you’re too tired to get into bed). So what do I do to keep going? I keep taking deep breaths, focus on things I can control, and keep telling myself: I can get out of bed; I can have a cup of coffee; I can take a shower and put on deodorant; I can put on my shoes and tie them too; I can drive myself to work; I can handle twenty minutes of fast driving crazy angry drivers; I can get through the next fifteen minutes in the Sim Lab; I can get through this crazy hard procedure on this patient; I can drive myself home; I can give kitty medications and kitty supper; I can brush my teeth; I can fall asleep on the floor; I can wake up and start a new day tomorrow. And I always try to keep myself aware of mental health and my PTSD. Anxiety, depression, panic, and trauma are insidious foes. They make you feel defeated. But I am not afraid to REACH OUT FOR HELP! Mental illness is an illness like any other illness that knocks us away from living life to its fullest. I go to my MD to get my asthma treated when it knocks me on my ass. And I have the strength to go to my MD and my therapist to have my panic attacks/PTSD treated when they knock me on my ass. I should not be and am not afraid/embarrassed to admit that I have mental health challenges. And I wish that folks would not feel stigmatized by our society’s views regarding mental health. I am Danish and Denmark is empirically the happiest country on the planet. Denmark’s happiness comes from many different sources but Denmark doesn’t stigmatize mental illness: Denmark embraces mental illness and treats it effectively and its people are empowered to live wonderful stigma free lives. We Danish Americans are arguably one of the smallest ethnic minorities in the USA because ya gotta be nutz to leave Denmark.
“And what else can I do?”. Be patient with one another. We all got shit going on right now. Some things we can handle. Some things we can’t (and that’s OK). Sometimes things happen (like a pandemic) that tip the scales toward not being able to handle things (and that’s OK too). Sometimes our actions toward others can take someone’s precarious situation and turn things toward a bad direction (and I would say that most people right now are dealing with some precarious situations). So maybe we can remember to be nice to each other. Or maybe we can at least try to be respectful toward others. We don’t know all the burdens that people are carrying right now. And our actions can make or break someone’s day. Kind words and a smile (you can tell when someone’s smiling behind a mask) are healing gestures (or at least they’re comforting). Even our body language can make or break someone’s day.
And that’s probably enough for Sunday October Fourth, 2020. Stay safe, stay healthy, keep the Faith, and please help your neighbors. We’re all in this together. We can go the distance. Don’t stop believing.
Doc's Writing Refuge 