About a year ago I shared my thoughts regarding what it means (to me) to be a second year (D2) student dentist. Well, my thoughts about being a D2 (and what the second year of dental school represents) have not changed a bit. Being a D2 student sucks. It has always sucked and it might always suck. But it’s my opinion that this year is PARTICULARLY HARD to be a D2. Heard of this thing called coronavirus (well I suppose it depends on one’s news source…I personally follow news outlets that verify the legitimacy of coronavirus)? Complete disruption of everything we ever viewed as normal. There isn’t anything that isn’t forking weird right now. Everything is FORKED UP!!! And then we throw in the most stressful year of dental school?! Quite possibly it’s a complete recipe for some dark and tough days.
Also about a year ago I came face to face with mental illness: I suffered a trauma that triggered overwhelming panic attacks. Thankfully I was able to gather the strength to reach out for help (I wrote about it in a blog entry called “Panic Attacks Suck: Part One”). Thanks to a great medical team I was diagnosed with PTSD. And last year’s trauma was not the precipitating incident: I mentally blocked a trauma I suffered more than twenty years ago (1994 to be exact) namely I was wrongly accused of causing a medical mishap that led to the death of a patient (more on that a different day). I didn’t have any recollection of that trauma yet it was there lurking within the depths of my mind. My therapist was able to open doors into my mind that I couldn’t open on my own. And once those doors were opened healing truly began (finally). Last year’s trauma was only a reminder (or a trigger). But it’s amazing what that new trauma triggered within me. And I don’t know if I would have been able to truly reach a place to begin healing without skilled help from a trained mental health professional. So, I am ever so grateful that there can be (and is) healing from mental illness. I am ever so grateful for my medical team. And I am ever so grateful that long held stigmas about mental illness are finally starting to erode (a little).
So why the fork am I sharing all this self-indulgent crap? Well, I have learned a whole lot about mental illness this past year. I’ve spent a whole lot of time contemplating mental health this past year. I have become acutely aware of mental health issues this past year. And I even went so far as to become certified in Psychological First Aid from Johns Hopkins University this past year. Yeah, so what, right? And what does this have to do with the second year of dental school, right?
Due to the coronavirus there are enormous EXTRA pressures on D2’s like never before including but not limited to: shortened lab time; early morning practice sessions; late night practice sessions; not enough time to get work done (and certainly NO time to redo work should something go awry); heightened expectations for perfection from faculty; social isolation; worry regarding another COVID school shutdown; worries about catching coronavirus and falling WAY behind in school; worry about not having enough skills acquisition to pass practical exams; missing family; missing friends; missing being able to participate in activities that were curtailed due to coronavirus scares; anxiety about social justice issues; anxiety regarding political issues; anxiety about the economy (especially if a student’s family has been hit by the coronavirus economy); anxiety about family members becoming ill; anxiety about friends becoming ill; anxiety about the possibility of not being able to become a dentist; and I can go on and on. And I have sensed anger, despair, distress, worry, anxiety, hopelessness, and a general malaise like never before from my group of student dentists who I now recognize as D2’s (that would be the Teal Wave at MUSOD also known as the Class of 2023). D2 year has always been tough but I’ve never seen a D2 class suffer like this D2 class.
I am worried about and for my D2’s. We are only a month into Fall Semester. We have a ways to go and the tough stuff ain’t even hit yet. I implore any and all who are suffering from anxiety, depression, panic, or trauma to reach out for help. Please don’t suffer alone in silence and isolation. Anxiety, depression, panic, and trauma are insidious foes. They make you feel defeated and this is only heightened in over-achievers also known as student dentists. REACH OUT FOR HELP! Mental illness is an illness like any other illness that knocks us away from living life to its fullest. I go to my MD to get my asthma treated when it knocks me on my ass. And now I have the strength to go to my MD and my therapist to have my panic attacks/PTSD treated when they knock me on my ass. I should not be and am not afraid/embarrassed to admit that I am suffering from a mental illness. And I wish that folks would not feel stigmatized by our society’s views regarding mental health. I am Danish and Denmark is empirically the happiest country on the planet. Denmark’s happiness comes from many different sources but Denmark doesn’t stigmatize mental illness: Denmark embraces mental illness and treats it effectively and its people are empowered to live wonderful stigma free lives. We Danish Americans are arguably one of the smallest ethnic minorities in the USA because ya gotta be nutz to leave Denmark.
I can’t say it enough: I encourage anyone who’s suffering from anxiety, depression, panic, or trauma to seek help. I know how stressful dental school is especially second year and MOST especially second year during a pandemic. And I have had to live through losing student dentists and colleagues to suicide. There’s a lot of life worth living. And it’s good and right to seek help and live to see beautiful todays and tomorrows.
And we all got shit going on. Sometimes we can handle it. Sometimes we can’t handle it (and that’s OK). Sometimes things happen (like a pandemic) that tip the scales toward not being able to handle it (and that’s OK too). Sometimes our actions toward others can take someone’s precarious situation and turn things toward a bad direction. So maybe we can remember to be nice to each other. Or maybe we can at least try to be respectful toward others. We don’t know the burdens that people are carrying. And our actions can make or break someone’s day. Kind words and a smile (you can tell when someone’s smiling behind a mask) are healing gestures (or at least they’re comforting). Even our body language can make or break someone’s day.
It’s OK to have shit going on. And it’s OK if that shit overwhelms us. There are really good people out there who can help us when the shit gets too deep. Please reach out for help. Life is worth living well and we all can work together to achieve a life lived well.
Doc's Writing Refuge 